Your feelings vs your reality

“Always trust your feelings”, they advise.

Really?

What about the happy feelings whenever I consume too much sugar or coffee? Should I trust that?

What about the dreadful fear inside me whenever I have to talk to more than five new people? Should I trust that and avoid talking in front of people?

My feelings are exaggerated. They create a reality of their own. In my life doubting and balancing my feelings, not trusting them, has served me better. In fact, the paths I took because of trusting my feelings have always been short term gains but long term losses.

Yes, we react to feelings instead of how the word is around us.

Our interpretation of reality vs reality

Where is the truth? Is the feeling of reality - the reality itself?

If I trust my feelings and avoid any public speaking, I would never face that terrible dread. That is a definite short term gain.But I would also lose on public speaking. Which would have huge advantages in my life - in the long term.

So why would you always trust your feelings? In fact most of the time you should do the opposite to your feelings. Especially when it comes to pleasure and fear.

They say our ancient brain is geared towards avoiding pain and accumulating pleasure. That is why it seems no brainer to choose sugar over a healthy food. It is an immediate pleasure. The same with other drugs. Immediately the pleasure is there.

But in all these situations you better pray your life is short. Or that you can endure the pain you would eventually find yourself in.

Because unlike the pain from running, the pain from too much sugar has no dopamine. The dopamine is gained at first. The reward comes first. Later, you are in pain from either lack of it and from the insatiable desire for more of it.

Trusting your feelings is like that. The reward comes at first. The pain follows.

Doubting your feelings is the opposite. The reward takes time when you face your fears first. The pain comes first but it won't last.